When you just look back

It’s been more than a month since I came to Vienna. I still sometimes get this kind of question (like tonight, by a friend of mine). I decided to write about it while I still have gut to do so.

To first come to the conclusion,

I do not miss Japan tiny a bit.

Well, I must admit, I do think it’d be nice it there were things like :

– Yodobashi Camera department store in Akihabara (which has tons of high-techs)
– Book Japanese book store (or library)
– Cheap and good food (eating out in Japan isn’t that expensive)

But they’re more like my preferences. It doesn’t mean I miss Japan. First of all,

I decided to come here by myself.

– I’m the one who found the (current) position.
– I’m the one who contacted to the company.
– I’m the one who bought the airline ticket, and decided to work here.

No one asked me to come here. It was my decision to come here (of course, there is a matching issue; I consider myself really lucky to have found the place and got hired).

On the other hand, however, it is also true that I might have missed Japan for the first few days. I did dream, and my (Japanese) friends were there and we’re speaking in Japanese, although I do not really remember the contents of those dreams. I tried to be logical and told myself “it was my decision” and “this is really a natural reaction”. Given that I used to work for a Japanese company in Japan until a week ago, I think it really was a natural reaction.

Unlike a tour or studying abroad, my stay in Austria isn’t planned up-to-when (personally, I’d like to stay here as long as I could). Worried about it? Not really, because..

– I can read awful lots of books written in Japanese online (I even think I should read less Japanese and more German..).
– I could still talk with my families (as before).
– Japanese food can be obtained (if you pay a little extra).
– I could visit Japan from time to time*.

* I do not yet know how often I’d fly back to Japan (or to Okinawa), it feels, however, that once every few years should be enough.

I do not have to think too much about it yet, but the only thing I should worry about is not being able to next to my parents when they’re dying. People could die by accident, so there could be an emergency call (theoretically) at any time. Yet, it’d take some time for me to be there (which could be a bit crucial, given the seriousness of the issue). I do feel sorry for my parents, but I hope they’d forgive me by doing the best I can under a given circumstance. Likewise, when I’d be a father sometime in the future, I would like my children to go to the place and do the things they want, rather than taking care of me (physically).