When you just look back

A while ago, I wrote a blog entry in Japanese. I wanted to introduce it to my friend and realized that there’s no entry in English available. So here’s the translation :

My definition of the word “sexy” is a person who makes you (or me) wanting to know about him or her more. According to this definition, (logically speaking) even a male person can sometimes appears to be “sexy”. It doesn’t mean I’m homo- or bi-sexual; I very much prefer spending time with woman to man (at least in the bedroom).

As the word “sexy” suggests, it’s a person with whom you’d like to have sex. I think that’s the primary (if not only) meaning of the word. So the question is: what kind of person would you like to sleep with?

I’m a man, and I’m tempted to look at a woman if she’s beautiful (or pretty, attractive-looking, etc..). However, it doesn’t tell me anything about her life – what kind of person she is (although I could sometimes guess..). It usually takes some time (which means, after some communication) for me to feel (or start feeling) whether the person is attractive. It may be just because I’m still young, I may even have a prejudice that the person who wears lots of make-up (hence usually good-looking) implies that she cares how she looks rather than how / what she thinks; using her resources on outside, but what about the inside part? My experience is that it’s quite true (However – it’s not the case all the time).

I’m a (hu)man, and I’d like to have sex. If I’d see a young woman in a beautiful shape, I’d probably get excited. But part of me says : “if you ever go out with this person, most of the time you’d spend with her is by doing something different from having sex”. That would also be the case even with a one-night stand; you’d spend more time outside of bet than inside (going to dinner together, etc..).

Yes. I do have sexual desire, and I do (logically) understand that’s one of our biological reactions. As a man (if you’re a male and have some experience), you’d probably understand that your sexual desire rapidly drops right after having sex. Usually a pillow talk will follow (at least in my case). If I get more interested (through the conversation), I become biologically interested in her again. If that were not the case, I even think having sex with her isn’t all that necessary (although I know that’s extremely rude to her).

Having conversations together, going shopping together, laughing out loud together… For me, having sex is just another item on the list. In short, I’d like to get to know the person more, deeper.

If I spend time with someone, I like to enjoy that time. If I go out with someone, I like to have rather long-lasting relationship. From this standpoint, the above definition (or perception) of the word “sexy” is, at least to me, very much appropriate.